Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
