one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
