Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
