It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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