I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
