I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
