Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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