i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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