There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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