I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize