Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
