i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
