Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
