He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
