No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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