The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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