hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize