When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's blow job season.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
