Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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