You were right. It hurts to walk today.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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