I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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