she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
