Whod you bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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