We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize