I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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