Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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