Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
