4 words: hood of his car
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
