Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
