took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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