I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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