Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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