I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
