Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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