There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
