watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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