That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
