She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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