It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Someone signed my nipple.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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