we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
