Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
