Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize