just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
