Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
