Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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