Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
