Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
