Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize