Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Even my vagina gasped.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
