Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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