I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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