McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
