Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
