well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
