we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
