she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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