I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
