omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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