i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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