And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize