Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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