Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Farmville is her only friend.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize