I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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